Weight Loss: Where the Battle Lies

My friend Heather posted a short snippet on her Facebook page yesterday about the battle she has with her flesh in maintaining her weight loss. She (correctly, I believe) identifies her struggle as one of a spiritual nature, more than physical. Her words really spoke to me, probably because I am in the same place.


I am 45 pounds down, but haven’t moved much in a couple weeks. It started with the weekend I spent with Michael, cooking until his freezer was heaving from the mass of all the food. Last weekend didn’t help either, with supper at Louis Cairo’s, and a food-filled family reunion. My gym time has been minimal because I’m still nursing a bad knee. Not that any of these circumstances are to blame for my plateau, because they aren’t. They are situations to which I should have made better adaptive plans. If I’m exercising less, I should be eating less. Plain and simple.

The past two weeks have been hectic and stressful. Painful feedback out of Alturas has me at my wit’s end. Traveling cross-country two weekends in a row has created stress around how to manage my workload in the office. Even positive things sometimes have negative consequences. I have been confronted with a couple of consulting opportunities that are truly opportunities of a lifetime. Managing the engagement processes for this good fortune has led to some stress eating.

Learning to eliminate food as a coping mechanism for my emotional needs is probably going to be a lifelong battle. Sometimes, it’s just not as simple as not eating. It takes a concerted effort to break out of old habits and mindsets.

A couple weeks ago, I left work totally stressed out. I had had a busy day in the office, and had engaged in three personal phone calls with the top three stress-inducing people in my life. I was batting a thousand in the aggravation realm.

As I left the office, my intention had been to go to the market and buy some groceries. As I parked the car and began walking toward the door of King Soopers, I realized that I was plotting my next food binge and JUSTIFYING IT. Thankfully, I stopped, turned around, and returned to my car. I sat in the driver’s seat, gripping the wheel. Very apropos, as I told myself, “You ARE in the driver’s seat, Susanne. What you do next is your choice.”

Instead of heading back in the store to purchase chocolate donuts, ice cream, and bread, I started the car and backed out of the parking lot. I drove the dozen or so miles to Parker, and went to the Goodwill store. For 15 minutes, I wandered the aisles, filling a basket full of clothes. I went and tried them on. All the size 16’s were too big. Fueled by that victory, I went and loaded the basket full of size 14 outfits. Wearing a size 14 certainly isn’t my ultimate goal, but considering that when I arrived in Colorado three-and-a-half months ago I was wearing 18’s and 20’s, it’s definitely progress.

Ultimately, I left Goodwill with three pairs of slacks, a shirt, and two skirts, totaling $28.05. A small price to pay at this stage of the game, since I could have easily eaten that same $28-worth of junk food and wound up with it sticking to my ass instead.

I left Goodwill and went to Sunflower, a local farmers’ market-type store and bought a few groceries. Good things that will fuel my body in my new clothes. Probably only someone who has the same struggle could fully understand that the hour or so in which I was confronted with that emotional condition was truly a battle within myself.

Truly, the battle is physical. And it’s not. It’s mental. And it’s not.  The key is knowing the location of the skirmish at any given time.