Time to Forge on, Food Whore...

It's been seven months since I've blogged on this page.  My body has been through hell.  For almost five months, I poisoned myself in the hopes of eliminating cancer.  Thankfully, I won that bout.

In the meantime, my body has been left weakened.  I, in just the sheer exhaustion and relief of being beyond the battle, have been less than disciplined in my efforts to manage healthy eating and exercise.  The result is that I have gained about twenty pounds since September.

I had been down to 170 at one point, a total loss of 75 lbs since last January.  Forty-five of that had come off before I got sick.  Part of my challenge since September has been that I have had little strength when it comes to the notion ofI exercise.  And I'll be honest, after months of eating little to nothing, food was a decadent undulgence again.

So now, here I am, at the new year, and weighing 191.  I had a long, hard talk with myself yesterday after I left the gym.  Lethargy, ambivalence, and delusion are no longer in charge of this girl's bod. 

I was painfully distressed and depressed today as I struggled on the treadmill today to walk 1.73 miles in 30 minutes.  I was frustrated as I recalled my bootcamp victory of last April where I ran an entire 5K in just slightly more than that same 30 minutes.

And then I remembered how much I have traversed since then.  The cancer treatments were a real challenge.  My body is still recovering.  I realized that I cannot give up at this point, because that would be the same as canceling out all the efforts I've made to get myself this far, and this well.  With measured persistence, I WILL run that 5K again.

And I was reminded today of how much support I have.  There's Maria, who with more diligence, determination, and resolve than I could ever hope to possess, has lost more than 100% of her body weight over the past couple years.  Her commitment to her health and well-being has been a real catalyst and inspiration to me.

There's my dad, who tells me every day how grateful he is that I'm getting well. 

There's Rick, who tells me every day how beautiful I am.  To hear such words from someone who is so beautiful in his own right is, well, awesome.  And humbling.

So, I am committed once again to putting myself back on track with a healthy lifestyle.  I'm down a pound since yesterday, I've taken pains to make healthy eating a priority, and I've put exercise at the forefront of the day's efforts.  I've latched on to other people's efforts.  Brian Marker wants to be down 30 pounds by mid-April.  I've joined him in the challenge.  There's no better time to make the change than right now.

I'm going to try to be more diligent about blogging through some of this transformation.  There is accountability, strength, support, love, and power in numbers.  If you're making a similar commitment, feel free to comment and share...